Congrats, you are engaged or soon will be! The time before the wedding day is incredibly important and allows you to plan, prepare, and get ready to start a new chapter in your life. The time before your wedding also allows you to build a solid foundation upon which to build your new marriage. God designed marriage to be a beautiful and exciting experience, so it’s important to establish good expectations before you become a married couple.
Pre-marital counseling is a great way to start your marriage off on the right foot. Couples who invested in premarital education are 30% less likely to seek divorce than couples who didn’t.
If you are looking to pick a premarital counselor or premarital education program, these 5 tips will help you pick the right one.
1. Decide Your Format
There are a lot of different types of premarital counseling you can choose from. You can find online courses, use a book, or find an in-person counselor. Oftentimes you can combine these options to find the best fit for you and your fiance. Maybe an in-person counselor or pastor will choose a book to guide your time together, or maybe you use an online counseling course with a group of other couples.
2. Choose a Counselor that Shares Your Faith
Faith is foundational to a healthy marriage, and you want to make sure that the person providing you counseling has the same worldview as you. There are lots of Christian premarital counseling options available, like Spark Discipleship, a Christian organization that supports and encourages young couples who want to build healthy marriages.
3. Look for a Premarital Counselor with Experience
The best counselor for you and your fiance is one who is trained and experienced. Often, well trained counselors or pastors will be up to date on research and tools to help support engaged couples. Additionally, counselors and pastors with more experience will be better equipped to provide counseling that is encouraging and helpful. We’ve been working with many couples over the last 10 years of our ministry to help them start solid, thriving marriages. Our coaches are all solid couples that have navigated many seasons of life with Jesus at the center, and have years of experience walking alongside young marrieds.
4. Make Sure the Big Topics are Covered
Premarital counseling is different from traditional counseling in that there should be some foundational topics you cover to prepare you for marriage. Sex life, intimacy, and finances are the biggest causes of conflict in a marriage. Make sure your premarital counseling covers these topics and other important ones like family planning, communication styles, expectations, and conflict resolution. In our premarital counseling sessions, we cover important topics like money, roles, expectations, sex, and communication.
5. Ask for Recommendations
Get recommendations from trusted family members, other couples who have gone through premarital counseling, or pastors. If you know someone who has had a great premarital counseling experience, ask them what worked for them. The trusted people around you will know you and your fiance and be able to offer you suggestions when you start premarital education.
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Marriage is a beautiful relationship that we should celebrate and your wedding day should be a party celebrating your life with your future spouse. As you prepare to take those “I do”s, build a marriage foundation that will last a lifetime.
