Are you practicing the “turn and tell” method with your spouse?
In our marriages, we have the unique opportunity to encourage and build each other up as we live out what we learn about Jesus through his Word. One of the most practical ways that we can do this is to simply “turn and tell” our spouse what God is challenging/teaching/speaking to us.
Let’s dive in deeper and explore why committing to learning God’s Word is so crucial to growth and how to practice sharing this practice with your spouse.
Knowledge vs. Discipleship
Engaging with Scripture on a deeper level is foundational for true discipleship. Studying the Bible isn’t just about gaining knowledge but about transforming our lives to reflect Jesus in everything we do.
Why does this matter? Because so often, we mistake true discipleship for just “knowing” about Jesus—focusing on the facts, stories, and doctrines—without allowing all that knowledge to truly shape our hearts and actions. True discipleship goes deeper than knowledge. It’s about forming a life rooted in Jesus and living according to His mission.
Here’s the truth: most people fail at discipleship because they stop at “learning” and never take the next step into living out their faith. They might attend a small group, dive into a bible study, or listen to sermons, but if it doesn’t lead to practical transformation, you’re missing out on the abundant life. The Bible is meant to change us from the inside out—to renew our minds and align our hearts with Christ’s. 2 Timothy 3:16 says, “All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting, and training in righteousness.” The Word of God is living and active; by it we encounter Jesus and learn to form our lives around him.
Paul reminds us in 2 Corinthians 10:5, “We take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” So, while we study the Bible and deepen our knowledge of God’s ways, the ultimate goal is to let those truths shape how we live, think, and act. It’s all about transformation, beginning with the renewal of our minds (Romans 12:2).
Turning and Telling
As we allow ourselves to be transformed into the image of Jesus through our studies, it’s important to share our discoveries and learnings with our spouse. In these conversational moments, we should be open to sharing with our spouse. We need to listen closely to each other to understand what’s going on in each other’s heart, looking for signs of how God is working in their lives. These are usually more subtle observations than “splitting the red sea” moments.
The Apostle Paul beautifully captures our goal to invest in our spouse spiritually. As 1 Thessalonians 5:11 says, “Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.”
Investing in our spouse is all about uplifting and building up our spouse in the normal things of life. And spiritual growth happens one decision and step at a time.
Here’s the challenge: Are we living out what we know? As we engage with Scripture, are we allowing it to shape our hearts and actions? And as we are learning and growing in our relationship with Jesus, how are we involving our spouse?
Let’s continue to root ourselves and those we are loving and discipling in God’s Word. It’s the key to knowing Him, following His ways, and living out our faith in practical, life-changing ways.
Together for marriage,
Mike and Holly
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Peter DeHaan writes about a fresh approach to following Jesus through the lens of Scripture, without the baggage of made-up traditions and meaningless practices. Check out his free 10 Essential Bible Reading Steps.
