From fear to faith. Your next step.

How Fear Affects Our Marriages

We all know that fear is one of the most basic human emotions. And we’ve all experienced the crippling anxiety fear can bring into our lives. From the time we’re infants, we are equipped with the survival instincts necessary to respond with fear when we sense danger or feel unsafe.

But fear can profoundly impact a marriage too, creating barriers that hinder communication and intimacy. When one or both partners are afraid—whether of vulnerability, conflict, or losing the relationship—it can lead to avoidance behaviors or defensive responses. This fear might manifest as criticism, withdrawal, or an inability to express needs and feelings openly, ultimately fostering resentment and misunderstanding. Additionally, unresolved fears can prevent couples from facing challenges together, weakening their bond. To nurture a healthy marriage, it’s essential that we learn to address our fears directly with our spouse, fostering a safe space for honest dialogue and emotional and spiritual support.
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​How to Move from Fear to Freedom

Fear affects us all, often holding us back from the peace and purpose we desire. But the key to overcoming it isn’t to eliminate fear entirely—it’s learning to shift our focus from controlling unknowns to building trust in something greater.

Most people struggle here because they try to manage fear through control, holding tight to the idea that security lies in predictability. In reality, freedom lies in surrender, in the ability to trust Jesus rather than fear. Let’s explore how to identify your fears, reframe them, and release them to Jesus to bring lasting peace into your marriage.

Fear can feel paralyzing. We know it all too well — that feeling of losing control to the endless “what if’s.” But there’s a way to shift our experience with fear—from something that holds us back to something that brings us closer to the peace we all desire.

Here’s a truth to sit with: freedom isn’t about the absence of fear but about how we respond to it.

Freedom begins when we admit our fears to Jesus instead of letting them control our decisions. Often, fear makes us cling to control, especially when life feels uncertain. In scripture, we see this pattern in Moses, Isaiah, and Gideon—all felt fearful when called by God to step into the unknown. But God met each of them right there, reminding them of truth and showing them a new path forward.

So, what if we, too, could let go of the need to control and lean into the one who is speaking the truth to us instead?

Here’s how to step into fear when it arises:

1. Pinpoint Its Root: Often, fear stems from wanting to protect what we hold dear. Ask yourself, “What am I truly afraid of losing?” This simple question can uncover hidden worries, bringing them into the light. As water reflects the face, so one’s life reflects the heart, Proverbs 29:17.
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2. Shift to Trust: Acknowledge that while life holds unknowns, there’s a steady source of strength that isn’t shaken by the uncertainties we can find in Christ alone. Trust lets us say, “Even if things don’t go as planned, I am divinely supported.” We can proclaim and hold onto this truth as we know that he will never leave us or forsake us (Hebrews 13:5). This shift turns our “what if” fears into “even if” faith.
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3. Bring Fear Into Your Time With Jesus: During your time with Jesus, as you read his word or reflect on moments of prayer or meditation, invite him into the areas where you’ve held tension and been fearful. By inviting him into those moments, we can see Philippians 4:7 come to life as “the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” As you spend time here, notice how that peace becomes a part of how you think, respond, and ultimately live out in your marriage.

The truth is that freedom from fear is a daily choice, not a one-time fix. It’s about letting go of control and welcoming the Holy Spirit by faith as our guide. This journey may not permanently remove fear, but it transforms how we live with it, moving us toward a life of trust and peace.

Together for marriage,

Mike and Holly

💡 Partnership Resource Spotlight

Have you ever been stuck in the cycle of hiding and shame and felt it would define you forever? Through this 3-part guide, author Morgan Krueger shows us that freedom starts with returning to the hard moments with Jesus (not the enemy!) and being bold enough to let him have the final say. Not your negative thoughts. Not your false beliefs about yourself. Not your shame. HIM. Through this guide, Morgan prays you to find the best kind of freedom – freedom in Christ. Grab it here.