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Holidays shouldn’t be a battleground. Protecting your relationship and priorities is an act of love that benefits your marriage, your family, and your faith.

Today we officially enter the holiday season! If your house is like ours, the kids are out of school, holiday shopping has begun, and the pressure of dragging out all those boxes of garlands and lights is just days away. Ahhh, the season of…hope, joy, and peace??

The holidays are supposed to be a time of love, connection, and rest—but let’s be honest, they can also bring a LOT of stress, especially when family dynamics and difficult relationships come into play.

Every year, we hear from couples who feel overwhelmed by the stress and arguments that come with holiday plans. Thinking back on our own 16 years of marriage, some of our biggest disagreements happened around this time of year. Family dynamics, unmet expectations, and busyness often distract us from what we’re really celebrating and why we’re gathering.

We often feel obligated to meet everyone’s expectations, even at the expense of our own well being. Many couples avoid setting boundaries out of guilt or fear of upsetting others, but this approach can lead to more tension and burnout.

The result? We lose focus on the purpose of the season and the joy that’s meant to fill it.

Holidays shouldn’t be a battleground. Protecting your relationship and priorities is an act of love that benefits your marriage, your family, and your faith. Whether it’s tension with extended family or the added pressures of the season, there are practical steps you can take to safeguard peace in your marriage and make this time memorable.

Practical Steps to Protect Your Holidays:

  1. Clarify Your Priorities
    Take time as a couple to decide what matters most during this season—whether it’s having time to rest, quality family time, or specific traditions. Let those priorities shape your decisions.
  2. Set Boundaries Together
    Discuss how much time to spend with extended family and agree together on what life is giving to you both. Boundaries aren’t selfish—they’re a way to love well without losing yourself.
  3. Focus on the “Why”
    Remind yourselves why you’re celebrating. Keep Christ at the center of your holiday plans and let that perspective guide how you respond to stress.
  4. Encourage Connection
    Choose to prioritize the relationships that build you up. Spend time with people who bring joy and pour into you rather than draining your energy.
  5. Practice Grace Over Guilt
    Not everyone will understand your decisions, and that’s okay. Be gracious with yourself and others as you navigate this season.

This season, remember that your time, energy, and relationships are sacred. Protect them by focusing on what truly matters: celebrating, connecting, and finding the joy of Jesus in the presence of those you love.

Let’s choose peace over pressure and connection over conflict as we head into the holidays together.

Together for marriage,

Mike and Holly

 

Mike Worley

Mike Worley is passionate about helping couples live out the transforming power of Jesus Christ in everyday life. He and his wife, Holly, co-founded Spark Discipleship with one simple mission: help couples build thriving marriages as disciples of Jesus Christ.

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