What you should know about the power of focus

As busy parents, spouses, entrepreneurs, ministry leaders, and mentors, we sometimes feel like we are drowning in the deep end of our commitments. “Of course, we will host that event, make that meal, mentor that couple, run that group…” The list goes on and on. And honestly – all of our “yes’s” are good things! Which makes it really, really hard to say no sometimes.

As followers of Jesus, it’s hard to refuse opportunities that will further the kingdom both inside and outside our homes. But at what expense? We are human beings, and we only have so many hours in the day and energy tokens in our tank to give.

If we look at the example of Jesus, we see him walking with the people: serving, saying “yes,” leaning in, showing up. If we are called to be the hands and feet of Christ in our modern-day world, how do we balance our ministry with our work, with our family, and with our marriage? And what does God have to say about our focus and priorities?

We love this passage in Philippians 3 and are sharing the Message version here because it resonates so loudly in our modern, noisy lives  – “I’m not saying that I have this all together, that I have it made. But I am well on my way, reaching out for Christ, who has so wondrously reached out for me. Friends, don’t get me wrong: By no means do I count myself an expert in all of this, but I’ve got my eye on the goal, where God is beckoning us onward—to Jesus. I’m off and running, and I’m not turning back.”

So, let’s talk about priorities and how to get started by focusing on the one thing God is asking us to lean into in our marriages during this season.

We recently had time to get away to Arizona to celebrate Mike’s 39th birthday, woohoo! When we are on vacation, we are loungers and readers – we love being on the beach or at the pool, hanging out, reading, and having conversations as we refill our tanks.

During this recent trip, we finished reading through The One Thing, a book about focusing our time and attention on the “one thing” tied to our greater purpose. This is a great read to pick up, either for business or personal development. As we applied it to our marriage, we asked each other the question:

What’s the one thing the Lord is asking us to focus on in our marriage right now?

Throughout our vacation, we discussed this idea at length and felt that the Spirit was leading us to focus on our calendar. During our summer travels, extended time with our kids, and work pressures, our time meeting together as a couple for our Weekly Huddle wasn’t as consistent as it could have been. Looking towards the upcoming fall as we add school, teach Marriage Foundations, launch our new coaching program, and stay healthy physically and spiritually, we knew that we couldn’t continue to let that ball drop.

As author Gary Keller said in his book, “Where I’d had huge success, I had narrowed my concentration to one thing, and where my success varied, my focus had too.”

We know that our purpose is to serve couples to build thriving marriages through discipleship, which should drive our calendar priorities, which leads to our daily productivity as a couple.

So, during date night this week, we encourage you to ask each other: “What is the one thing in our marriage that Jesus is asking us to focus on going into the fall? What is the one area we could grow in and spend focused time on that could help build greater intimacy spiritually, emotionally, and physically?”

• Is it your communication?

• Is it your sexual intimacy?

• Is it your finances?

• Is it being more intentional with your time to serve others?

Choose one thing, write it down, keep circling back to it, and hold each other accountable. As Paul said, keep your eye on the goal that God is calling you to pursue, and don’t turn back.

Together for marriage,

Mike and Holly

🌱 Ready to grow together?