How to Study the Bible with Your Spouse

Let us start by saying there are MANY ways to study the Bible. You can study God’s word through inductive Bible studies, word studies, character studies, and popular methods like the expositional method, survey method, book survey method, etc. We certainly don’t lack ways to study God’s word, but as disciples, we aren’t looking to fill our minds with theological information; we seek to obey what God reveals to us through His word.

Dallas Willard puts it this way: “Spiritual transformation into Christ-likeness is not going to happen unless we act…what transforms us is the will to obey Jesus Christ.”

We just don’t want to read God’s word; we want to encourage each other to be obedient to it. 

This encouragement makes studying the Bible together as a couple so powerful. We know that “faith comes from hearing and hearing through the word of Christ (Rom 10:17),” and as we listen and act, we start to see God transforming us into Himself.

A couple of years ago, we were introduced to a simple Bible study method used as a missionary tool overseas in different disciple-making movements. It’s called the S.O.A.P.S. Bible study method.

S.O.A.P.S. Bible Study Method

S.O.A.P.S. is a daily Bible study and application method that teaches us to go through a repeatable process individually or together as a couple.

S.O.A.P.S. stands for:

• Scripture: Write out one or more verses that are particularly meaningful to you today.

• Observation: Make a few notes about the key points that you observe.

• Application: Think about what it means to follow these commands in your own life.

• Prayer: Write out a prayer sharing what you’ve learned and how you plan to apply it.

• Sharing: Ask God who He wants you to share your learning and application with.

Here’s an example of S.O.A.P.S. at work:

S – “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord. “For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” Isaiah 55:8-9

O – As a human, I’m limited in what I know and what I know how to do. I’m reminded of these obstacles every day. But God is not limited in this same way. He sees and knows everything. He can do anything and is all-powerful.

A – Since God knows everything and His ways are always the best, I can put my trust in God, who knows everything. Instead of relying on my own way of doing things, I can rely on His guidance for my life.

P – Lord, I don’t know how to live a life dependent on you. I truly don’t know how to trust you. When I do things my way, it almost always leads to broken places. Please teach me your ways and your thoughts, and enable me, by the power of your Spirit, to trust fully in you. I surrender to you, Father, and ask that you guide me throughout the day to glorify you.

S – I will share these verses and this application with my friend Dan, who is going through a difficult time in his career and needs direction for his important decisions. I will also share with Holly tonight how God is asking me to trust in His ways more fully.

Turn and Share
The S.O.A.P.S. method is helpful as it allows us to reflect and commit to obeying God’s word. But one of the most powerful parts is always in the last “S”: sharing what you have learned.

We had a marriage mentor give us some advice early on in our relationship that stuck. They said, “All you gotta do is turn and share with your spouse what God is teaching and challenging you in your life.”

By “turning and sharing” our S.O.A.P.S. with our spouse and others in our lives, we have seen each other encouraged, allowing us to share the inner parts of our hearts.

Pastor Tony Evans says, “Applying what we read in the Bible to our daily lives is the highest purpose of Bible study. We don’t study it to win theological arguments or impress people with our knowledge. We read it so God can use it to transform our lives.”

Use the S.O.A.P.S Bible method as a practical way to study God’s word together and to “turn and share” all that God is doing in your life to further cultivate oneness in your marriage.

Over the next 4 weeks, take one day a week to share your S.O.A.P.S. with your spouse to see how God is working in their life.