Holly and I have been married for over 17 years, and I’ll be honest—there have been seasons where we felt more like efficient roommates than passionate partners. We had our routines down: morning coffee, work, dinner, kids’ activities, Netflix, repeat. Functional? Yes. Fulfilling? Not really.
Maybe you’ve felt this too. That nagging sense that your marriage was designed for something bigger than just managing schedules and splitting household duties. That underneath all the logistics, there’s a deeper hunger—not simply for companionship or even romance, but for significance together.
A few years ago, we were invited to walk alongside a young couple going through a rough patch. Honestly, our first thought was, “Do we even have time for this?” But something stirred in us as we said yes. Week after week, as we sat with them—praying, listening, sharing our own struggles—something unexpected happened.
Holly and I started looking at each other differently. I watched her offer grace to this wife who was struggling with forgiveness, and I thought, “Wow, I married a woman with incredible wisdom.” She saw me navigate difficult conversations with this husband, and later told me she felt proud to be my partner and could see God’s hand shaping me.
We weren’t just surviving our marriage anymore—we were using it for something eternal.
Jesus said it best in Matthew 6:33: “Seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.” Notice he didn’t say “seek first a happy marriage.” He said seek first his kingdom—and then everything else you long for gets added.
Small lives can’t sustain big marriages. When your marriage exists primarily to make you happy, it becomes suffocating. But when your marriage becomes a platform for God’s work, it becomes life-giving.
You weren’t created just to make each other happy. You were created to make a difference—together.
his week, ask yourselves: “What if God wants to use our marriage for something bigger than our own happiness?” Start simple. Pray together about who God might want you to serve. Maybe it’s neighbors, coworkers, or other couples in your church.
Your marriage needs more than date nights and communication tips. It needs a mission.
Best,
Mike and Holly
