Have you ever wondered why some marriages thrive while others merely survive?
We made countless mistakes in our early years of marriage. Looking back, three of them stand out as particularly dangerous detours on our journey together—mistakes that almost derailed our relationship completely.
The first and biggest mistake? We weren’t truly committed to our local church. Sure, we attended services most Sundays, but church was just another box to check before getting on with our weekend plans. We saw church as something that served us rather than a spiritual family we could grow with and contribute to.
This casual approach to church created a second problem: we lacked genuine community. Without deep connections to other believers, we had no one to turn to when marriage got tough. As Mike shared in our recent video, “Our community, God love them, but they were all my single college soccer buddies. And I’ll say it—you guys gave really bad marriage advice!”
The third mistake compounded the first two: we didn’t have a mentor couple who had walked the marriage path ahead of us. We were navigating uncharted waters without a map or experienced guides. God provided lifelong mentors when we began pursuing them and things definitely began to shift.
In Hebrews 10:24-25, Scripture reminds us: “Let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together… but encouraging one another.”
God designed marriage to flourish in community, not in isolation.
The transformation in our marriage began when we prioritized the local church, built authentic community through serving, and prayerfully pursuing mentorship from couples a few steps ahead of us on the journey.
This week, we encourage you to consider these three questions with your spouse:
- Is your church commitment a true priority or just a checkbox?
- Who are the 2-3 couples you could call at 10 PM during a fight?
- Is there a godly couple a season ahead of you who could speak wisdom into your marriage?
Your marriage wasn’t meant to be walked alone.
Best,
Mike and Holly
