Hey Friends,
Ever notice how we can spend so much energy trying to improve our marriages while still feeling like something’s missing? As we come into the final two weeks of our Marriage Foundations teaching at our church, we’ve noticed a consistent pattern among several couples.
One couple in particular—let’s call them Jason and Emma—have been diligently applying every principle we’ve taught. They’ve scheduled regular date nights, practiced active listening techniques, and even created a shared budget. On paper, they’re doing everything “right.” Yet when we met for coffee last week, they confessed they still felt spiritually disconnected. “We’re better at communicating,” Emma said, “but something still feels incomplete.” Their breakthrough began when we shifted our conversation from marriage techniques to a bigger question: “What is God calling you to do together?”
In Matthew 6:33, Jesus gives us a revolutionary truth: “Seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.” It’s by far one of our personal favorite verses and this directly applies to our marriages as well.
Francis Chan writes that “most marriage problems aren’t marriage problems—they’re God problems.”
When two people are right with God, they naturally grow right with each other. Your relationship wasn’t designed to be your ultimate source of fulfillment—it was designed to be a reflection of something greater.
This week, try this simple shift: Instead of asking “How can we have a better marriage?” ask “How can our marriage better serve God’s kingdom?” Pray together about one way your relationship could become more mission-focused. Maybe it’s mentoring a younger couple, serving neighbors together, or supporting a cause that matters to both of you.
Your marriage isn’t just about your marriage—it’s about reflecting God’s love to a world that desperately needs it.
Growing in grace with you,
Mike and Holly
